The Needle and the Damage Done Week Four
27th March 2009
Week 4
February 25th - Where Kat and I plan to move to Kyneton
To Kyneton.
Not that they'd exactly gone away yet, but the bushfires are back with a vengeance, flaring up like a bad, potentially fatal case of acne in Western Victoria. Kyneton's not directly threatened, but friends of mine in Hepburn and Glenlyon are evacuating. No-one's in the mood to gamble.
The Kyneton Town Hall give us a call - they're a little concerned they won't be ready for the show, as they've been operating as a refuge for the past few days and have to remove about 100 beds from the auditorium. It's an interesting phone conversation - Matt from the Town Hall fretting they won't have the lights focused by the time we arrive, Kat and I fretting that they're throwing refugees onto the street. Not that my hilarious comedy show isn't incredibly important, BUT, you know, we're figuring that the needs of people fleeing the bush fires might take SLIGHT precedence. We're assured it is, as they saying goes, all good, although it's as well that the show wasn't booked in for yesterday.
Within minutes of arriving in Kyneton, Kat and I develop a big girly crush on this little town. It's so pretty, and our accomodation is a proper tiny house with crisp white sheets, polished floorboards, and a tremendously appealing air of recently renovated rustic. After only a couple of weeks on the road we've already had bog standard eight shades of brown 70's motel rooms up to pussy's bow, and run around squealing with delight like teenagers backstage at a Miley Cyrus concert.
There used to be a big divide between country and city facilities, particularly with regard to the availability of decent coffee, rocket salad with parmesan, food that's not deep fried in aged lard, that kind of thing. This is obviously shifting. Tree changers have realised that if they want a strong latte with a leaf pattern on it, they're going to have to stop complaining and make it themselves - and they are. Every town we've been to has one café that looks a little bit Melbourne, and is gamely persuading locals to step out for breakfast. Kyneton's about ten steps ahead of the curve here - half their population seems to be Two Hat chefs who've opened fabulous little tasty establishments on the main street. This place rocks.
The venue is gorgeous, an old style theatre with balcony and cunning 50's design features. One of our techs, Linda, is not only a lady (to date the only female venue tech we've come across), but a volunteer for the CFA who's been fighting the fires. Cue more running around and teen squealing; let's face it, the CFA are the new pop stars around here.
Exchange with the audience during the Christian section of the show, just after I make a joke about the Exclusive Brethren.
Guy yells out - "You want to be careful. There's a lot of them around this area."
Me - "But not actually here. Surely. I mean they're not allowed out, right?"
Guy - "Good point".
After the show we're invited for drinks by the owners of the White Anise restaurant, who not only press very fine wine upon us, but play an hilarious funk track written by local talent. The song is called The Way You Put It Back On (After You've Taken It Off), the band is called The Tony Barber Shop Quartet, and the track is up there with anything The Flight Of The Conchords have done. Fingers crossed coming to a radio station near you.
February 27th -Where I receive some exciting news.
The day begins well; Jamie Redfern wants to be my friend on Facebook. As the kids say, ‘booyah'. Discover that Mr Redfern's talent school is going well, that his favourite movie is Ghost, and his hobbies include martial arts and real estate. Also discover that we have six friends in common....Surely we should form a volleyball team?
Day starts to unravel when I discover that iced buns, like puppies and toddlers, should not be left in the back of a car on a hot day.
Werribee is interesting, presenting the ‘perfect storm' conditions of an enormous auditorium, an audience of 30 who are scattered around the venue like random burrs on a horse blanket, and no alcohol. All things considered, the show goes quite well.
I now know how to guage the religious sensitivity of the audience. When I say "And now it's the Christian section', if the audience goes ‘hurray!', all is good. If they go ‘Ooooh' with a downward inflection, as though I've just offered to purchase their children for a lifetime of sex slavery in a war zone, life has become problematic.
A woman comes up after the show, shakes my hand, and says ‘You're very brave'. She is not the last.
Part Two of the ‘Technicians in the mist' series. Our tech, Rick, who has not only spent the entire afternoon playing World of Warcraft, but is also reading a Dean Koontz novel. In terms of the tech-geek heirarchy, he is their king.
* Read week one blog
* Read week two blog
* Read week three blog
